


Playground Insulted

by Toaster_Warlock



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: (no its not), Connor and Nines are brothers, Crack, Fluff, Hankcon only mentioned at the end, Insults, M/M, Swearing, Vines, childish insults, it says mature but is it really?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 15:14:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16558154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toaster_Warlock/pseuds/Toaster_Warlock
Summary: Connor and Nines engage in a battle to the death.





	Playground Insulted

Connor watches from his peripheral as Gavin stands from his desk. He was laughing at something his brother had said as he left room to go get his 23rd cup of coffee that day. The tension in the room was palpable, everyone in the bright, well-lit building suddenly feeling the static seeming to build in the air. The only person not affected seeming to Hank, who honestly probably couldn’t feel anything at this point, so no one was too worried about that. Back to the issue at hand. Connor nonchalantly stared at his computer screen, face neutral, waiting a few more moments before he spoke.

“So… you and Gavin, huh?” Connor continued to tap away at his keyboard. He didn't need to look over to know that Nines was doing the same.

“Yes, is there a problem with that?” Connor shrugged lightly, _too lightly _, as he reached over to some pens scattered around his desk. He straightened them into a line next to his keyboard before responding.__

__“It’s not a problem at all. If you don’t mind cohabitating with a trick ass bitch,” it was said so calmly and naturally that the people around the office listening in almost missed that it was even an insult. Though… was it really an insult if it was the truth?_ _

__Nines’ eye twitched slightly, his only tell that the comment got to him a little bit. He would not be the first to break, absolutely not. Nines straightened his shoulders and sat taller in his chair, he continued to work as he replied to his brother._ _

__“I do not see how he is anywhere near this so-called ‘trick ass bitch’. Do you have any proof?” Connor, to Nines' relief, was the one to break this time. Usually, when they had these arguments, Nines was the first to go, considering Connor was literally built to get under people’s skin. But not today, today Nines was triumphant, victorious. He didn't even react when he heard Connor stand from his chair, the rolling desk chair slamming into the desk and making a loud bang as it collided with the metal._ _

__“Proof- ** _prO oF?!_** ” Connor sputtered, “Just last week, Gavin tried to shoot my ass with a knife and called me a ‘pussy thot’!” Nines gave a pinched off smile and turned to Connor before shrugging. “Sounds like a personal problem.”_ _

__Now, Connor liked to think of himself as level-headed in these kinds of situations. He was able to come up eloquent responses to people based on the environment around him and what he already knew about the individual he was talking to. But there were times, times when the only thing Connor could do, was say some dumb shit._ _

__“You fucking ugly ass noodle head.” As it turns out, Nines was the kind of individual who got tilted at dumb shit. Connor watched brother turn in his chair and jump up from it in the same manner Connor had a few moments ago. The two glared at each other, both seeing who would crack first. It was Connor once more. If Nines wasn’t so pissed, he would be beyond smug about this turn of events._ _

__“Nines, you smell so fucking bad I can see it.” Nines eyes widened in shock, his mouth falling open as if he had just been scandalized._ _

__“How does it feel to be worst detective ever, huh?” Nines shot back, knowing Connor’s work was his pride and joy and that he took it very seriously. Connor didn't even hesitate before answering though._ _

__“Oh shut up Nines. Amanda bought you megablocks instead of legos.” Nines gasps and picks up a pencil he had placed in a snowman mug. Gavin had drunkenly bought it for him saying some shit like it was an apology. Nines didn't care at this point because all that mattered was launching the pencil at Connor at a speed that broke every fastball record in the MLB. Connor easily dodged it of course, they were both designed to do the same fucking things with bullets, and smirked._ _

__“Hey, serious question Nines, what’s your favourite colour?” Nines gave a confused look as he watched Connor run a finger along the top of a pen._ _

__“My favourite colour?”_ _

__“Isn’t it mediocre?” And with that Nines snapped. The two began an intense battle of throwing the nearest objects they could find at the other. Hank picked up the picture of Connor and him when they got married from Connor’s Immediate Launchable Items area, placing it safely on his desk before returning to the work he had to do. Nothing like the background noise of a sibling fight to get the Productive Juices™ flowing. Unbeknownst to everyone, Gavin had returned a long as time ago. Enough to catch the tail end of the conversation before WWIII broke out in front of him. He held a coffee mug in his hands, a look of confusion and endless suffering permanently embedded into his face as he watched the scene unfold. He looked over to Hank, who was still working, and to the other officers, who were seemingly placing bets on whatever the fuck was happening. Gavin stood there for a moment longer, unsure of what to do before he just sighed and went back to his desk. It was going to be a long ass day._ _

**Author's Note:**

> what were you expecting? something decent? an actual serious update? lol no.
> 
> [Come talk if you want](https://toaster-warlock.tumblr.com)


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